What did the clam say to the scuba diver? FUCK MAN! STOP TOUCHING MY JEWELS! WOULD YOU WANT ME TO JUST RIP YOURS AND TAKE THEM WITH ME!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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what do you call a man who is addicted to alcohol... an alcoholic

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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So, there was two successful business men at a social gathering when one leans in to the other to comment, "Hey, that women over there, she looks like your wife!" to which the other one replies, "That is my wife."

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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What is the difference between a dog and God? A dog is physical living creature while God is a supernatural being.

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get hit by a car and die.

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Why did the boy fail his math test? Because his Mother threw a refrigerator at him.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

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The lion swallowed his pride.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Girls get fucked Boys fuck Gays puke

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops