whats a porn stars favorite number? 69...

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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A: My dog has no nose. B: How does it smell? A: Terrible.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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You're Mother's so fat, she sat on a chair, and it broke.

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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why did the chicken cross the road? no one knows because it got hit by a bus.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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Q: Why is 8 afraid of 9? A:Because 9 killed 8's family

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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why does a man walks into a bar? it was a metal bar so he probably was retarted

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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