Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

i just got pulled over by a cop. he asked me if i had been drinking, i said no. he asked me to step out of my car so he could look inside i looked nervous, and had no other choice to step out. he knew there was something in there he looked in and saw it THE REFRIDGERATOR

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

thumb_up thumb_down -31

The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout. Heavy rain came down and killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

yo mama has one big titty and one small titty and the call the bitch paul

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like trains (:

thumb_up thumb_down -31

casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red violets are blue, I have no pickup line, just Get your tits out

thumb_up thumb_down -33

An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

The joke below was so funny I forgot to laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I knocked on my neighbors door to complain about the horrible smell before remembering I killed him the week before, he has no family and no one will ever know.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops