Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

MORTAL KOMBAAAAAT BETA 0.3!!! DUDUDUDUDUDUDUNDUN Kano, Kano, Kano, Uh, some asian guy? Kano Kano, Kano, some black guy in the future, Kano, Kano, etc. MORTAL KOMBAAAT BETA 0.3!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did one white man say to the other white man? hello!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

One day in school two kids had a conversation. Susan: What do you want to do when your older? Oliver: I want to go to the moon. Susan: Oh. I went there last week. Oliver: Can you smell something. Susan: Haven't you ever been to Pennsylvania.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you make a tissue dance? You really can't, but you could grab it and shake it around so it looks like its dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Question: You are in a bed between a hot chick and a gay guy, who do you turn your back to? Answer: False, I am to unattractive to find myself in bed with anybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -10

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Have you got any Saturday jobs available?" "Yes"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops