what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why was the woman?

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What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

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My mom so fat, when she jumps gravity pushed her away from the ground

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Guy A turns to Guy B and says, 'Hey, can I use your cellphone to call my mom?" Guy B nods and says, "Yeah, sure, just press redial." Guy B had been planning an surprise party for Guy A and had called Guy A's mother for ideas.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Q: What do you call a guy that is smart? A: A SMART Guy.

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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How old is your mom Dead

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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