Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you love me? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Did you hear about the guy with five penises? Me neither, because that sounds like a very improbable aberration.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call 4 black men in a BMW? Successful Businessmen.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you call postman pat after he's retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many baby's does it take to paint a wall Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops