How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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What do you get when you cross Winter Squash, Beets, Ham, Coffee, Spinach, Hexamine, Cadmium, Detergent, and some love? A bowl full of crap.

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A rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why doesn't anybody like the octopus? There anti-social creatures by nature

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What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

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you suck

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What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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Why did the girl throw her watch out of the window? because her mind wasn't as intelligent as a normals person mind as she had mental problems.

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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you know why people who read anti-jokes are stupid? i just had the greatest sex ever!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? That boy that dropped a perfectly good ice cream cone from a road accident involving a bus due to lack of road safety awareness Oh yeah, and I guess the fact that he probably died or was injured for life is pretty bad too

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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What do you do when a man in a corner offers you candy? You walk away.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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Statues: Show what great people look like, if birds shit all over them.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.-South Park

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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