Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

Yo Mamma's so dumb... She cannot manage to find a decent job without her GED.

What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

Nice belt.

Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

What did the muslim say to the jew. Hello

"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

Why shouldn't you drink and drive? Because you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Obamacare

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

What's green and apple-y? You're gay.

how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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