Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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im in stttttttttiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssss

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm colorblind

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dylan hodge wishes he could suck his own **** jokes thats what his mothers for

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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What is green, dangorous, slow, defencive, and scared? A turtle with a uzi.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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What did Justin Bieber say when he lost his tampon? Where's my tampon?

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What do you call a man who was just struck in the head with a bowling ball? An ambulance would be the most appropriate thing to call since this man just sustained a serious head injury and medical responders should be contacted, lest his brain start hemorrhaging.

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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mark lawson likes boys

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Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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