How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A girl cries as she drops a box of uncooked spaghetti noodles, spilling and breaking them onto the floor. She has brittle bone disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whatever tomorrow brings, I'll be there. Just kidding because today brought terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why will this joke be the most hated? Because it sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A chicken walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding chickens cant talk and animal control was called

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

thumb_up thumb_down +2

a young boy with no arms or legs log rolls himself outside where he gets struck by lightning

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

thumb_up thumb_down +2

dick dick dick... frogs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why didn't Wendy want to sit down? Because her dad put a hand full of needles in her anus. - D

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops