A girl asks her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Rose?" "Because when you were 1 day old a rose petal landed on your head." Another girl asked her mother, "Mummy, why am i called Daisy?" "Because when you were 1 day old a daisy landed on your head" "alualualualalughghphphpphphp" "Shut up fridge"

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

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What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

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What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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what did the horse say to the other horse Neigh

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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Your momma is so stupid Her iq must be below 50

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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Why did michael jackson wear white gloves around young boys? His doctor recommended that he do so due to bad circulation.

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jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

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Your mama's so fat, that she died of diabetes

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lays on it's back? A school bus after a traffic accident

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I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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roses are red carnations are white dont go to bed or ill f**k your friend dwite

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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A man had sex with his secretary. She was his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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