Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. His face bumped into something that was soft, squishy, smooth, and round... It was a balloon. Someone was having a birthday party.

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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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A man took a police officers gun and threw it at a baby in a stroller. He went to jail.

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Whats a difference between an eagle and a tree? They both can fly. Oh yeah, I Iied about the tree.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Did you here about the guy who got his right leg and right arm cut off? I made him up but he would make one good anti-joke.

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why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like poems What rhymes with poem?

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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MRCANN YOUR A FUCKIN' CARROT LERN 2 FOCKIN SIT IN YER HOLE YA FUCKIN PLANT

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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Man frantically runs into a bar, he suffers brain damage and cannot remember anything about his life. Though he tries to make everything go back to the way it once was, he and his wife grow distant and their family falls apart.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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Mullets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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