How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

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whats the capital of congo famine

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

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The WNBA

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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