Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Help I'm being raped!

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies? two piles of dead babies.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Why did the blond wreak her car? She stayed up a very long time studying for her mid-term exam, And therefore, was not as attentive to the flow of traffic.

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A black man burned down my house. It was on minecraft you racist!

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What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? After one hour, twelve minutes, and fifty-three seconds, Dave calculated that it approximately took 247 licks.

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A women walks into a bar which is means she is pretty rich to be able to have a bar in her kitchen

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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What's the deal with airline food? Nothin. It's quite scrumcious.

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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