Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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Why is the fat man fat? Because he has an extremly bad metabolism which makes him gain two pounds from eating one cheeseburger

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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Why did the girl fall off the swing Because she had no arms

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What do you call a midget on the moon? A midget.

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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How do you kill a zombie? You don't. Zombies aren't real.

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Q: what's better than ice cream A: not having aids

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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Q: What did the peanut say to the shell? A: Its dark in here.

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What worse than rain Osama Bin Laden

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had been used as an ingredient in kung pow chicken and was on it's way via delivery boy to the house that had ordered it for a lovely evening meal

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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I hate cripple jokes! I just can't stand them!

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Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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