A man walks into a bar and at the bar he sees this guy with a blue head. He asks the man with the blue head if he can buy him a drink. The man with the blue head says "sure... you want to know about the blue head don't you?" "Yes i do" "Okay it all starts with a genie, he gave me 3 wishes, the first wish was to have a beautiful wife and a house to put her in, the second wish was for a ton of money, and the third wish was for a blue head."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Have you got any grapes?" The bartender replies "No." The duck then leaves but returns the next day and again asks, "Have you got any grapes?" And again the bartender answers, "No." This happens again the next day and in annoyance the bartender yells, "If you come in tomorrow and ask if I have any grapes, then I will nail your feet to the floor!" The next day the duck came into the bar and asked, "Have you got any nails?" to which the bartender replied, "Yes." The duck then walked out of the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bad grammers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there Isabelle Isabelle who? Is-a-bell necessary on a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you mix a camel and a penguin? A cenguin!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There are two kinds of people: Those who have a life, and those who read anti-jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The Sun is vital to our human existence on the Earth. It also causes cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why does my ass hurt? you have rectal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than war? being tied to a chair and watch your parents die.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue. I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did one gothic person say to another gothic person? Nothing. Gothic people only cut themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call 2 black guys hanging out with a white girl? An inter-racial couple helping out their black friend whose wife just died of terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? One, they're really capable people, unless they're handi-capped then they'll ask someone else to do it for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops