Why did the Japanese piliot crash into the ship? Because he has motion sickness and puked all over the wind shield making it so he can't see.

Why was the boy crying? Because his dad comes home drunk every night and beats him.

Why was the boy afraid of the dark? he was blind

Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

Q. Why did the middle-aged man need glasses? A. The man's father had poor eyesight and due to genetics could not see well without the help of glasses.

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

Brothers and sisters,I have none. But my sister's daughter is also my daughter...

I saw a guy walking down the street like a black person. I just shook my head and smiled. He WAS black.

"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

What's black and hanging from the tree in my backyard? My black, tree-hugging friend.

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

Why did the black man die of leukemia? Overexposure to radioactive materials due to his career as a nuclear engineer.

A plane is going to land at 3:30, if the monkey is holding a gun how does the bus driver commite suicide 12, because the laywer attacked the dyslexic man.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

How Many Blondes does it take to open a fridge. 1 Because most blondes are smart and can open fridges.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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