Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Samraj.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hey, wanna hear a penis joke? Nevermind, it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: how do you make a clean naz dance? A: put a lil boogy in it? NOOO SUCK IT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops