What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

why was 14 scared of 15? 7-8-9

What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

Q What did the Whale say to the Giraffe? A Why are you in the ocean?

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

what does a black person and an elephant have in common? what? they are both living beings who have their place in the world.

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

Youre in your car, and you stop at a light you see a home less person holding a sign that says "Home less and hungry, anything helps." You ask if they want a box of cereal, "No thanks." They replied, you ask why not? "Well, I really just want to go to the movies."

What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

What did the man say to g**guy we are both g**

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

Chuck Norris goes to the mars to fight the marshuns he then die's soon after because there is lack of oxegen on mars and theres no marshuns.

A married couple is arguing over the temperature in their house. The wife wants it at 62 degrees and the husband wants it at 74. What should they do? Nothing while they are arguing their daughter decides to put it at 32 and freeze them to death

why did the black man attend the AA meeting? his wife told him the only way she would stay with him is if he would attend these meetings, he was an alcoholic and is dying of liver failure.

What do you call an indian driving a plane? A pilot.

roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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