I'm on the ABC diet. The ABC stands for: Americans British Chinese I eat humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

thumb_up thumb_down -65

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +70

what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +54

How is an orange like an airplane? They both have wings except an orange doesn't have wings

thumb_up thumb_down +52

There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Knock Knock Who's there? Your real father. I left you when you were a month old and I have regretted the decision ever since. I would like to be a part of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

People say the sky's the limit................................ but there's footprints on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

roses are black violets are grey... im color blind sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the man reach for his gun? Because he wanted to kill someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

im at school

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Life gave me onions. Onionaide Sucks

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

thumb_up thumb_down +38

In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops