A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Q- what the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? A- The Wheelchair

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Whats the differance between a blond and a rock? I don't know. I can't think of any.

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Orange Orange who? Banana Banana who? I have AIDS

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What's worse than five babies in one trash can? One baby in five trash cans.

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I'm HIV positive.

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knock knock who's there? Madeline McCann really? no

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Gandalf and Dumbledore had a son, her name wasn't.

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I'm at my grandmothers house right now

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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