Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

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Why was everyone screaming bloody murder? Their home team won

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Knock knock What?

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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Why does the gay person where a leather motorcycle suit? Because he drives motorcycles.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

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What did the quarter say to the dime? nothing.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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