Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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Why did the football coach go to the bank Answer - to get his quarter back

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Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

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what did the fat guy say to the girl ill make fun of you because i have bigger tits than you

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What do you call a black man? Black

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He orders a lemonade and leaves promptly

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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A man goes to the till of a 7-11 to buy a 12-pack of condoms. "Busy night?" asks the cashier boldly. The man complains to the store's manager about the cashier's misconduct and she is given a formal warning.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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Laugh

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yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Why did the TV fall of a cliff? Because a nice man was donating it to the homeless shelter which hangs over a cliff. The man placed the TV in the back room on the floor. There was a weak spot on the floor and when the fattest homeless person walked over the floor, the floor broke which was a HUGE inconvenience because he TV and the fat man fell through the floor and over the cliff, luckily the TV was plugged in so it was hanging by the cord but an old lady with Alzheimer's forgot that there was a hole in the floor and unplugged the TV so she could clean the switches. In the end the TV fell off the cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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