After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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Why is the moon gray? Why is it not?

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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Roses are dead. Violets are dead. I'm a bad gardener.

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ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE!? YES I AM, AH! ARE YOU READY?! ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE?! The judge did not find the Elton John song worthy of negating the statuary rape charges and sentenced him to nine years in jail.

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Oh yeah? Well you're as gay as this joke!

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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what happened to the baseball player who couldnt throw? he was very unsuccessful, as throwing is the most important skill of the game

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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canadians

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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So, two people park their car and walk into a bar. Wait, no. They were walking into a grocery store and they were riding skateboards, not a car. Then, the kid walks in after them. Oh, did I forget to mention they had children? And also, they're married. So anyway, they walk into this grocery store, and meet a barkeep. Wait no that's ridiculous why would a barkeep be in a grocery store. Let me start over. Bah.. never mind. I forgot what happened next, but it was REALLY FUNNY!

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What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

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Why did the baker turn off the oven? He had run out of business

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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What did the walrus say to the Penguin. It said MAHHRGH. because walruses can't really talk

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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