What's the difference between a murdered baby and a dead baby? Not much

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What should someone do if they are Le Zirk? Have a zirk. THEN FIRE THE ZIRKKK!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How are cars made? By magic.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -47

knock knock a man walks into a bar what do you call a horse with no legs dave who?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What did the indian man say to the black man? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A Penguin walks in to a bar. then he walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mom is so ugly that she was mercilessly bullied throughout high school which led to severe depression and low self-esteem, however she went to college, got a career, found a man who loved her for who she is, not how she looks, and raised a family happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Where can you find a good lawyer? At a reputable law firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a deer with no eyes? The victim of a freak genetic mutation and extremely susceptible to predators, meaning it will live a short life in the wilderness.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the ant say when he walked in the club. . . Nothing he was immediately stepped on.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops