Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I don't have a last name.

An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

A jewish man runs into a wall with an erection. He broke his nose.

Why don't people say YOLO anymore? They all died in car crashes while texting and driving.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

I remember my grandfather's last words he said to me before he kicked the bucket...."Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

Women's Rights.

What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

Child: Hey mom can i go to the store with you? Mom: no son, i'm not really going to the store. I'm cheating on your father.

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

trumpy trumpy trump

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

How do you please a black person? Shower him with love and affection.

A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

Whats black and white and red all over Racial violence

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...