Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car

A man walks into a bar and orders a sprite. Everyone in the bar looks and him funny and then laughs. He then tells them, "I would rather satisfy myself with a cool lemon-lime drink than put the poisonous toxins of alchohol into my blood stream."

knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

... i forgot the joke :p

Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

no

What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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