A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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its all aodhan

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a yacht. Unfortunately the yacht is in a shop and all 3 of them sustain injuries following impact with the concrete floor.

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WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!!! Not Michael Vick.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What didn't the man piss on the dead baby? Because that is just morally wrong. Instead, he reported it to the police and aided the cause of justice.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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