Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Why did the man commit a serious crime? Because he couldn't think of any funny crimes.

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The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag? One carries groceries and the other molests children

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A women frantically calls the doctor and says, " Doctor, doctor, give me the news! I have a bad case of loving you."

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There once was a man from Dundee. He got stung by an angry wasp. He put some Bactine on it. He lied down and took a rest He felt much better the next morning.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

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What did the Africans get for dinner? Nothing.

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whats funny about female tennage life? SELF HARM OOOOO YEAHHHH

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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Guess what I saw... Wood, I'm a carpenter.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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