- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a cage being carried by a farmer.

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

This would be racist to black people if they could read.

Z.

What can fly? Lots of things

How do you say vampire in spanish? Vampiro.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

Why did susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms... Why didn't she get up? She didn't have any legs... Why didn't anyone help her? She didn't have any friends. Then she died

Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

What's the difference between a poodle and a noodle? Scaboodle!

What does a Jewish man do when he sees a new car? Doesn't buy it because he puts his money in a fund.

Why did the child get cancer? Because there was a family history of it.

why did the dog bark at the picture because it was ugly

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

why did the asian kid do well on his math test because he studied

Moo! I'm a goat!

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

Guy 1: What is long, hard and full of semen? Guy 2: A submarine. Guy 1: No, my penis.

I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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