What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his whole left side of his body? He has been taken to hospital and is in a critical state where his right side of his body can not be joined together. This is life threatning and he is now not able to walk

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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What is worse the the Holocaust? Nothing

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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Joke

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A: This question has many different possible answers due to the range of sizes and shapes of bath tubs available on the market, and also depending on the size of the baby in question. It is therefore only possible to give a specific example.

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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Q: what the apple say to the orange? A: nothing because there fruits and fruits cant talk

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Why did danielle drop her ice cream cone? Because she was diabetic and had a blood sugar of 5.

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What did suzie do when she dropped her cookie? She died because it was secretly a bomb

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roses are reddish voilets are blueish if it weren't for christmas we'd all be jewish

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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Hi

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How many Jews does it take to fill a shower? As many as it does to fill an ash tray.

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roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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Yo mama's so poor that she's living in poverty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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