What is red? A rock painted red

thumb_up thumb_down -21

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did jenny fall off the swing? ...Cause she has no arms Knock, Knock Who's there? not jenny

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's the difference between two pieces of bacon and a blond girl? The blond girl is a human and it's against the law to eat her.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

oooh look a banshee

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

2 + 2 = fish

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -23

my uncle tommy is super religious. last month he's walking down the street, he gets mugged and shot in the chest. now miraculously (and i mean miraculously), he always keeps a bible in his left chest pocket. and he had something to read as he bled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the handicap man scream for help? Because he fell out of his wheel chair

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

your mom gave me head.....phones

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is worse than a sharknado? A bullcano.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a person with a cane? someone with a walking disability

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hi i want a cheeseburger and a small fry, said bob. And then, said the guy taking the order. thats all, said bob. And then, said the guy. Ummmm ok well i take small coke, said bob. And then, said that guy. Thats all, said bob. and then, said the guy. whatever i'll take a milkshake, said bob. And then, said that guy. and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then and then

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He threw at the girl, and that's why she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why didn't the boy get any presents for his birthday? because when his dad went to the store to get him some presents he ended up buying presents for himself like a huge douchebag.... and the apple doesn't fall from the tree so his son is a douchebag too and doesn't deserve presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops