Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

Apirl showers bring... Tornadoes that kill families

your no better than a cockroach

Why was the blonde in the bathroom for 2 hours. She had to pee really bad.

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

how do u talk to a person you like go up and talk to them

Why are anti jokes so funny? Because their not.

69

I'm a fork. Fork you!!

How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

Is J.P. dumb? Yes

how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

Reading books

Q: What's the difference between a stick in the road and a baby in the road? A: You swerve around the stick

In the middle of a long flight from Heathrow to Chicago O'Hare, the passengers of a 747 watched the engines all suddenly flame out. "Now, folks," the captain said over the PA as the plane plummeted to the earth, "I want it on record that I said it in plain English: a 747 can't fly from Heathrow to Chicago without refueling." No one bothered writing it down.

A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why is siracha taste so good on chicken? Because it compliments the meat.

Why couldnt the car move? It got blown up by a tank.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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