Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the boy say? please please please please goout with me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. whats piggy called A. Patrick gearthey

thumb_up thumb_down +18

im a dragon, no im not

thumb_up thumb_down +18

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worst then listening to you girl friends problems? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a dead baby and a pineapple? There will be no funeral for the pineapple..

thumb_up thumb_down +18

anti jokes are for fags

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why is 6 afraid of 7 7 is a registered sex offender

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

we all know sammi has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops