i have a christmas tree.

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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Honestly though bud, are you wasted? XD

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Where did Little Billy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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Whats worse then the quote "Do it, hit her!" The quote "Do it, Hitler!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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A girl walks out of a bar then gets raped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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