What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why did the waiter lose his job? Because he was a fish

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Josh Moran sticks polish sausage up his ear and moves it back and forth while squeezing his balls until they rupture.

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a slice of tomato A really bad joke

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? He'd lost so much weight, due to AIDS.

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whats difference between womens rights now and 10 years ago? nothing, they are both just lies men tell women to make them feel good.

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what starts with an f and ends with a uck? firetruck!!

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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