WHAT THE BABIES?!

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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5

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Roses are red violets are blue if you were number one I"ll pick number two, if you were number two then I'll pick POO!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was no oncoming traffic.

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What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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John and Henk are walking down the street. John kills a man, the cops are coming and John runs away. Why didn't Henk ran away? Henk was a rock

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Jehovah's Witness." "Jehovah's witness, who?" "Just Jehovah's Witness. Your doorbell is not working."

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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more chocolate?

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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