Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he had poor coordination.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

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Cheese stick

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

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How many guys does it take to change a light bulb? Probably just one.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What weights more than a 300 pound man? A 400 pound man.

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What do you get if you mix razor blades with babies? An erection.

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roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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meh

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where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops