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Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

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Q: Who showed up at the dead soldier's funeral? A The Westboro Baptist Church...

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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I may have alzheimers...Thank god I dont have alzheimers

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Donald Trump

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Hitler said "Jew mad?" I did nazi that coming !

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Jeff. I don't know anyone by the name of Jeff. Please leave my property immedaitely.

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What did the guy who dropped his iPhone do? He went out and bought a knew one.

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Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Knock, knock. Guess no ones home.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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What do you call a partially deaf obese man? Anything you want, it's unlikely that he'll hear you. If he does manage to catch what you said, your chances of outrunning him are very good considering that he's likely to tire before you, unless you're overweight yourself of course. If this is the case then perhaps you should hit the gym, obesity is a growing problem in the Western world and greatly increases your chance of heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops