Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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whats bloody and mingen Scabbaz head

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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A policeman walks into a bar. He goes inside to greet his friend who happens to be the bartender. Another man walks into the bar. This man is a regular customer and goes to the bar almost every other night. The policeman leaves and goes back on duty.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Four men were walking, and three of them walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.

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Knock knock. Stop making puns at my door!

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Me: Want to hear a funny joke? Person: What? Me: Women's Right.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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what is worse then finding a worm in your apple find a worm in your ass

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2 guys get into a fight over a girl.....the girl walks out

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Why did the hamster not eat it's food? Because it wasn't hungry.

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your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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WEED!

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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A man walks into a bar, and says ouch.

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Why was the blonde crying? She had just been raped by a 10-foot praying mantis.

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when life gives you skittles you take a handful and throw it at someone face and yell taste the rainbow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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