what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Knock knock whos there? I have no anus

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? HA!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

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What do you call a person from China? Chinese, duh.

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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What did the man with aids say? "I'm dying and there is nothing you can do about it"

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How many amoebas does it take to change a light bulb? Depending on your religious belief and the variation in evolutionary growth, a full study on the answer would require immense time and be very costly. I would also not feel comfortable providing an answer based on opinion or estimated guess. The answer is therefor be inconclusive.

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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What do you say when someone attempts to steal your cheese? Give me my cheese!!!

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What do you call a black guy riding a unicycle? A black guy riding a unicycle.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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What do you call a blind man on a jet ski? Dead.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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