A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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What color is red paint? Red

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar, they order a few drinks, then call a cab to go home.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? I'm in glove with you.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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what did the egg say to the boiling water? itll take a while to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick.

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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your mothers so over weight that when she jumps in a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water then someone with less body mass.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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