- Anti Joke

Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

My grandpa asked me a very important question right before he kicked the bucket. Grandpa: Son, how far do you think I could kick this bucket?

Your mother is so fat that people make rude comments about her behind her back, but they shouldn't because she's a really nice lady.

Why did Chad find dead people all over the playground? Ask him, it's not like he's pointing a gun at your face.

i didn't listen to a word you just said but...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

A dyslexic paraplegic walks into a bra

Why did the kid fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? Because he had no legs. Knock, Knock Who's there? Not that kid.

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Starving children in africa.

Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could be slaughtered and eaten for dinner.

Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

what did sandy say to mr krabs nothing squirles are not smart enough to make a air tank and go under water

What does pooh bear call his grandma? Pooh nanny.

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

Guy finds lamp in the desert and rubs it three times. No genie appears because there's no such thing as magic.

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

A man is driving down a back country road in an old beat up car going 30 mph when he notices a black horse and a white horse keeping pace with him. They keep up with him for a few miles before passing him and turning into a farm on the road. The man is quite impressed with the horses speed and follows them to the farmer and offers the farmer living there the horses in exchange for the car. The farmer says the horses are bad luck but accepts the trade, and the man walks off with the horses. The man then enters the horses in a big horse race and puts a lot of money on them. The horses immediately take the lead and are about to finish the race when the black horse trips and the white horse goes back to pick him up and end up losing. The man is furious and returns the horses to the farmer and gets his car back. The next day another man is driving in a nicer car down the same road going 50 mph when the black horse and the white horse run right past his car. Impressed with the horses speed the man trades his car to the farmer who warns him about the horses. Ignoring the farmer's warning the man enters the horses in a new race. The horses once again take the lead and are close to finishing first and second when the black horse trips and the white horse goes and picks him up again once again losing their lead. The man angrily returns the horses in exchange for his car. The next day a third man drives down the same road in a brand new sports car. While he's testing the limits of the car the horses catch up to him and run with him. Surprised by the speed of the horses the man speeds up in his car but the horses manage to keep up. The horses eventually run past the man and turn into their farm, and the man looks down and realizes that the horses had been running faster than 120 mph. The man goes to the farmer and offers his car in exchange for the horses. The farmer accepts but gives the man the same warning he gave the two men earlier. The new man just like the other two men ignores the warning and enters the horses into a race and bets a lot of money on them. This time the horse take the lead out of the gate but feet from the finish line the white horse trips and falls. The black horse seeing this goes back and helps him up once again losing the race. The man is disgusted and releases the horses into the city in hopes that they'll die out there. The two horses are wander into a bar, and the bartender looks at them and says: "hey you two why the long face?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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