Why couldn't the drunken man walk in a straight line? Because someone shot him in the face.

what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

An overzealous adventurer takes a trip to the Congo in Central Africa. While exploring the dense jungles, he accidentally drinks water that is contaminated with a very rare virus. He lives through the pain of the virus for many years. About 10 years after his trip to Africa, researchers discover a cure for the adventurer's virus. He goes to the clinic to get his shot to kill the virus. Exhilarated, the now cured adventurer runs out of the clinic but fails to look both ways while crossing the street and gets hit by and ambulance and dies.

How do you fit 100 dead babies into a box? Put them into a blender.

If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

What is small, naked and covered in sperm My son

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

One watermelon said the the other watermelon, "you are looking mighty plump today", the other watermelon didn't say anything because watermelons cant talk

Why was Ray Charles always smiling? He was Happy

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

What's the best joke in the world? This one.

What do you call a black man on your front porch? -Racism is a serious and non humorous problem.

A horse walks in a bar. The barman asks: "Why the long face?" The horse replies: I have aids.

What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

What did the black guy do to his neighbor's car while he was away? Wash it for a for as a favor.

Why didn't the gangster cross the road? Because he J-walked and was hit by a car.

Roses are Black Violets are Black I am color blind.

How much Is a free app on my market?

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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