Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

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Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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A black man in a country bar.

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

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What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A fifteen-year-old walks into a bar. He is told to leave by the tender because of his obvious prepubescent appearance, deeming him far from the legal age of drinking.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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which sex position produces the ugliest children? go ask ur mom

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What did Helen Keller say to Michael Jordon before she died? Nothing...

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How do u stop sky from being gay. You don't

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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