Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

why did the chicken cross the street? he couldn't, he lives in a rural area on a farm where there are no streets

whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

Wanna know something funny? Your face

What do gay guys eat? Normal food like every other human being.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

Pull my finger ouch..

why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

Why was the American patriot sad that Bin-Laden was killed? Because he wanted to take him back to America to touture him.

How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

Adam Thomas is homosexual

wanna here a dirty joke? Suree A white horse fell in a mud puddle dum dumdum dum duuuuuuummmm

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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