There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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A vegetarian walked into a butcher Luckily he realized where he was and walked out!

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What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What's worse than getting shot in the face? Nothing really because that could leave you seriously handicapped for the remainder of your life or there is a good chance that you are dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like to rhyme Microwave.

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Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

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knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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Why is my penis so damn small? Cause the good lord made me that way

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Doctor: I got bad news and worse news Patient: Whats the bad news? Doctor: You have 24 hours to live Patient: Whats the worse news? Doctor: Your mom died this morning

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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A: My dog has no nose! B: How does he smell? A: He cannot smell, because he has no nose.

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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what do mexicans like most. icecubes

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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