What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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kid: can i go to the bathroom? teacher: you have to say the alphabet first. kid: ugh. fine. a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.x.y.z teacher: what happened to the p? the kid bows his head in shame sits back down as the entire class laughs at him.

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A horse walks into a convenience store. He grabs a pack of gum, pays the man at the counter, and walks out.

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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Did you hear about Big Chief Running Water? Probably not. Indoor plumbing was invented after Europeans murdered his ancestors.

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Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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How are a pizza and a jew similar? They both are people aside from the pizza.

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What's more funny than an anti-joke? A joke.

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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whats helen kellers favorite activity fingering herself

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How do you kill a bolonde? You have her/him do an algebra problem.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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s o m a a d i t u n y s n i t a c s d c ' s k h k s t o e l y e

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Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

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My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. My Grandma has Alzheimers and always repeats what she says. (Submitted by Aidan)

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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If a guy has a sex change what is the first thing he would say? Boobies!

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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Why was Martha put in a wheelchair? She was hit by a rabid cabbage.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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