Why did the chicken cross the road?? So he could tell me to tell this joke to everybody and therefore prevent the universe from exploding

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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What would happend if two nyan cats crashed into each other? It would be a great impact and we'd all be sad.

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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a woman votes!

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Knock Knock. I paid good money for a doorbell. Use it, please.

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Why did the teenage boy touch himself at night? Because he was shot in the stomach by his drunken father and was trying in vain to stop the bleeding.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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What's the difference between an elephant and a moscito? There are several differencies. Firstly, the elephant is a mammal and the moscito is an insect.

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What did the black person say to the tall man with nice shoes? Nice shoes.

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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A kid wanted to change the channel... One thing leads to another.

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops