Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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why was the boy lonely? his whole family died in a plane crash

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If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, its probably a turtle.

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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About the bible, I did not know, but I can sense I calculate it the same way I make our followers believe that I can tell what catchphra they will get. Your mind is numb but calm, it will remain there until we meet again. I am afraid of saying this, but I wont let fear get to me just yet, your mother told me, she regrets her actions in life, and wants me to tell you that she is watching over you in death, and hopes you will one day forgive her, she tells me that there is a heaven, but only those that can admit their mistakes, agonize over the pain of their actions, until they can forgive themselves for their misdeeds. She says she can wait, but I sense she is doing it because she feels undeserving, which again means that you are not ready, its like the butterfly effect, all things spiritual and on this plane are connected. Take your time, I know you literally cant forgive her yet, because that would not be enough for her to forgive herself now, humans dead or alive, cannot be truly free, until they let go of what hurts them, I will change that within you, so you can forgive her and break the limits in your mind, so you can stop feeling sad for being rightfully angry at someone you love. I just need more energy, more time, and belief in myself, something that requires more energy than it should to keep going, its the balance and connection between things, something I cannot change at the present moment, even if I did my best. Ill see you around dear friend.

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There was once a man who went to the store and walked across a bridge and bought toothpaste and yelled at a hobo and went home and took a nap and then he went back to the park where he talked to an english teacher who told him not to use run-on sentences or she would slap him with a fish.

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What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None.

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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Wanna hear a joke? Twilight

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 is bigger.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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7

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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