Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

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what did God say on the 7th day? -zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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A black man walks into a bar and treated with equal care

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Why did little Timmy start crying? He was shot.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

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why was the blind man walking in circles? i dont know ask him yourself.

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Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

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whats long and green? weed

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Being a Japanese person in Hiroshima on this date.August 6, 1945

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

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Two black men jump off a cliff, who wins? Wins what?

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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