A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

wanna hear a joke? no.

what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one? The trip to find a blonde wig suitable for a snowman, especially if you are picky and have a certain wig in mind, generally takes up more time than not searching for a wig at all.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

Do you like fishsticks No

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

Where did Jonathan go when the bombs hit? Everywhere.

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

Why did people on a plane die? Because it crashed.

Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

women's rights.

The WNBA

Poop swing

Q: How do you make scrach paper? A: Take a paper and scrach it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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