Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

Q:Why did the man throw his clock out the window A:Because he didn't like his clock

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by Osama.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

you know what is so funny?! jokes..................................

What did the Nazi put into the oven? Bread.

Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

A blode takes a trip to her favorite restaurant. She arrives safely. After consuming a delicious meal she dies of cancer.

What do you call two men kissing? Gay.

Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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