A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call two mexican's jumping the border? people with a hard life trying to get to the new world.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A baptist priest walks into a bar with a boner.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Women Sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The anti joke that repeats itself :(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops